Monday

We had another checkup this morning, and this time, my doctor did an exam to check for dilation, effacement and the froglet's placement. One of the things I like about my doctor is that these are not standard parts of his prenatal appointment; he doesn't feel the information acquired is worth the discomfort. Since I've been having mild contractions off and on for the last week or so, I was hoping to be magically found to be dilated 5 or so centimeters. I had visions of being whisked off to labor and delivery and having a baby in arms by tomorrow.

Not so much.

I am neither dilated nor effaced, and the bug is not descending into the birth canal at all. My cervix was deemed "unfavorable." Ouch.

Because I am already a week past due, my doctor isn't comfortable letting me go more than another couple days without some sort of intervention. Initially, he mentioned induction, but since I've done some research on induction and its success rates, I was wary. Basically, how successful an induction will be is based on, well, how favorable one's cervix is. See above. So we asked our doctor about the likelihood of an induction in my case leading to a lengthy labor, fetal distress, and an ultimate cesarean birth. His opinion was that I would labor for 24-48 hours, get to about 5 centimeters dilation, then stall and ultimately need a cesarean.

So instead, we're going straight for a cesarean birth.

Its not what we expected; in fact, its vehemently what I said I did not want three weeks ago. I'm dreading recovering from abdominal surgery with a newborn at home. But really, all we want at the end of this is the froglet, safely and healthily delivered. And this way we'll have that.

So on Monday, we'll get to meet our son.

And a real update

Sort of.

I had a doctor appointment this afternoon (40 weeks plus 3 days). According to my doctor, as long as both the baby and I are healthy and I'm within two weeks of my due date, it doesn't make sense to do much of anything yet. Which, despite my complaining, I have to agree with. I'm going back on Friday for another checkup, and we'll discuss further options then. So, while I'm sorry I can't provide better info on when the froglet will appear, at least know that both of us are healthy and hanging in there.

While we're waiting...

A few photos of baby stuff, proving that we really are, more or less, ready for this little bug to arrive already!

As previously mentioned, the froglet will be sharing his room with a lot of guitars and CDs, at least for a while. But we do have somewhere for us to sit and rock him, somewhere for him to sit and rock himself, and someplace to change him (changing table is in the forefront there; its piled with stuff right now to prevent the cats from claiming it before his arrival).



The (mostly) catproof crib.



And a peek at the goodies in the crib. Obviously these will all be displaced once the bug gets here, but for now, its cute...



And, since Randi asked, a picture of me at 40 weeks plus 2 days. Proving conclusively that there is in fact a point at which black ceases to be slimming.

A not very interesting update

So our due date came and went yesterday.

We slept in, took the dog for walk, basically had a lazy day. I spent a lot of time bouncing on my exercise ball trying to persuade the bug to drop a little more. And he did, I think. I had some Braxton Hicks contractions, as well as what felt like some regular contractions, but nothing consistent enough or long lasting enough to qualify as real labor. Nevertheless, I am confident that what activity there has been means things are moving along.

Plus there's Pace. Always a bit nutty, he's been even weirder than usual the last few days. I'm not sure if he's just not used to me being home all day or if he's picking up on some variety of chemicals or hormones, but he's been more anxious than usual. All and all, his behavior is reminding me a bit of what he was like when we first got him four years ago. Kind of frustrating, really, and I'm hoping it just a temporary reaction and not a new standard of behavior.

Poor Morgan keeps saying that this weekend has felt like he's playing hooky and that he should really be at work. Unfortunately, unless something monumental changes before 7am tomorrow, he will in fact have to go back to work and just be on alert. Fortunately it only takes him about half an hour to get home.

Summer approaches

One of the things I'd been dreading about the end of the pregnancy was the beginning of summer. My due date is Saturday, which is technically the day before the first day of summer. But for the last few years, its seemed like the warm weather has been starting earlier and earlier, with hot days beginning in April or so. (Of course, hot days are a relative concept - living in San Leandro now, a hot day is one where it gets to about 80, whereas when we lived in Concord, it was more like 95+. Of course, we had air conditioning when we lived in Concord...) But I'm considering myself incredibly lucky in that its been a pretty mild spring, with some downright unseasonable cold snaps and even - unheard of in Northern California - rain in May and early June.

But... yesterday and today are giving me a little taste of summer. I don't think it actually got above 75 yesterday, but that was enough for me. I headed over to my friend Amanda's house (even though she is in Southern California at the moment) and plopped myself in her pool for half an hour. Her unheated pool. Unheated pools make very little sense in this area - I can't imagine its really warm enough for most normal people to enjoy them more than a couple times a year. But, a nine-month pregnant woman who is overheated and can't seem to regulate her temperature is not normal. It was heaven. My feet and ankles are actually almost their normal size, and my fingers had some feeling return to them for a while (ultimately more uncomfortable, alas, since the feeling is now leaving again. I really want my hands back.).

And last night was another Concord dinner, only I was very bad and actually had some smoked turkey - lunch meat is one of those big no-nos during pregnancy. It was tasty, but I was okay having skipped it during previous pregnant Concord dinners. I also had a very small glass of dry Riesling; that was worthwhile. I told Morgan it was our official break the rules, I'm done with being pregnant celebration dinner. He cruelly pointed out that I'm not actually done yet. Mean. Just mean.

Today would be okay (2).

Today would have been my grandmother Mary's 85 birthday. I (and I think she) would be perfectly okay with the bug sharing that date with her.

Today would be okay.

The latent Irish writer in me would be okay having a baby today.

Fourteen years ago, a college friend and I randomly found ourselves in Dublin for Bloomsday. Well, we were aiming for Dublin; we just didn't know it was Bloomsday. We spent a couple days drinking whiskey, visiting church crypts, having picnics in cemeteries in the rain, and sleeping on park benches. (We had hostel beds; I am honestly not sure why there are so many pictures of me sleeping on park benches from that trip...) Waiting for our ferry at Dún Laoghaire, we ran into a cute straight-edge punk boy I took a creative writing class with my freshman year at Santa Cruz and stayed up all night talking, because, well, that's the sort of thing that happens when you're 20 and randomly wandering around Europe.

It makes me sad to think about this now; this friend still lives incredibly close, but really, it might as well be on a different planet. Its easy to blame parenthood for driving friends in different directions - her oldest child is now six, and she has at least two more. I know that I will change when the froglet is born; my priorities will shift, I might lose interest in the things I used to find important. But. But I think - I hope - I have a strong enough sense of self to not lose who I am just because I am a parent. My values have been set in place for quite a while now, my politics, what I consider right and wrong, what I consider the kind way to treat my friends. I don't foresee any of these things changing. And if they do, please feel free to call me on it.